MOOREWATCH
Hee Hee.
Author: JimK
Ladies & Gentlemen, I present to you today's puerile jab at the man we love to hate, Michael Moore.

Fark.com, famous for it's Photoshop contests, led me to this one today. I doubt it will make the main page, but what the hell, I took a stab at it.

The original:



Notice the massive amount of airbrushing on that cover photo to make him thinner, now that he's holding it up to his gi-normous face and all.

My shot:

image

I claim fat guy's rights here. Black people can do black jokes, Jewish people can do Jew jokes, I can do fat jokes. If you don't like it, bit my flabby metal ass.

Posted by: JimK on Nov 18, 03 | 11:15 am (profile) | PermalinkOriginally posted at Right Thoughts
COMMENTS
Posted by: Fnork on Nov 18, 03 | 12:15 pm
Oh, how hilarius. This is what I love the most about this site, the fat jokes. ha-ha-ha. I wonder which one's the funniest, this one or Craigs dog turd joke?

Posted by: Craig on Nov 18, 03 | 1:14 pm
Q: How do you break a Norweigan's finger?

A: Punch him in the nose.

Posted by: Craig on Nov 18, 03 | 1:34 pm
...Then, there was the Norweigan road-worker who was hired to paint the line that goes down the center of the road. The first day he managed to paint 2 whole kilometers, and his boss was very pleased with his progress. The next day, he only painted 200 meters, but his boss just thought that he'd probably started-off too hard on the first day. On the third day of work, he was only able to paint 20 meters of the line. The boss was furious and called him into his office and demanded an explanation, to which the Norweigan explained:
"Vell, you see it's just getting so darned far to valk all da vay to dat paint bucket."

Posted by: Cigarskunk on Nov 18, 03 | 1:45 pm
Hey - leave Dr Atkins out of this - I went from 6'4" and 250 to 6'4" and 200 even in about 3 months thanks to that guy (then he died a week later, god rest his soul).

Best diet in the world though - I was never hungry and the look on the tofu and sprout eater's faces when I told them my diet routine was priceless. ;)

Posted by: Craig on Nov 18, 03 | 1:50 pm
Two Norweigans (Lars and Vidkund) were walking next to the harbor in Olso.
Suddenly, a seagull flies over and shits on Lars' head. Vidkund runs off and goes into a nearby men's room. Soon, he returns triumphantly with a roll of toilet paper and hands it to Lars. To which, Lars replies: "You damned idiot, vatt zee hell good vill zat do? Datt Seagull is miles avay by now!"

Posted by: JimK on Nov 18, 03 | 3:26 pm
Craig: Good stuff. ;)

Cigar: I almost went for the Zone book, but Atkins is more well-known. I tried it once, peaked at 22 pounds loss and stayed there for over a month. Decided that moving my fat ass was a better plan. ;)

Fnork: do you not see how pathetic your complaint is, especially given the last sentence of my post? Let me guess, you lost your sense of humor in a horrible accident involving a very fat woman named Gertrude and a box of sweet cakes.

Moore is, above all else, a humorist (albeit less funny these days than he used to be). Taking a cheap shot at someone for a laugh is how Moore got famous. I don't even think *he* would be as uptight as you are about my joke. He'd probably even chuckle in passing.

The one thing I'll never discount is his sense of humor. If you're so devoted to him, maybe you should learn how to have one...he does.

Posted by: TribeHasSpoken on Nov 18, 03 | 6:50 pm
Hey - leave Dr Atkins out of this - I went from 6'4" and 250 to 6'4" and 200 even in about 3 months thanks to that guy (then he died a week later, god rest his soul).

Cigarskunk, please explain to me how the diet could possibly affect your height?

Posted by: Rann Aridorn on Nov 18, 03 | 8:21 pm
He wasn't saying it could, you twit... he was offering his height as an indicator of how heavy he was. Someone at 6'4" and 250 would be quite a bit less overweight than someone 5'4" and the same weight.

Posted by: Wheels on Nov 18, 03 | 8:51 pm
I don't think even Dr. Atkins can save Moore though.

Posted by: Darkwing Dork on Nov 18, 03 | 9:19 pm
Jim, that picture doctoring is tasteless, mean-spirited and misleading...

I love it!

Posted by: Craig on Nov 19, 03 | 6:57 am
JimK posted:

"Let me guess, you lost your sense of humor in a horrible accident involving a very fat woman named Gertrude and a box of sweet cakes."

No, Jim....that's how he lost his virginity.
He probably never had a sense of humor.

Posted by: JimK on Nov 19, 03 | 7:04 am
No, Jim....that's how he lost his virginity.

Dude, warn a brother next time. Now I have to clean Barq's root beer off my monitor. ;)

Posted by: barry on Nov 19, 03 | 8:13 am
Good jokes. Now go clean up your room.

Posted by: Cigarskunk on Nov 19, 03 | 8:35 am
Hey - leave Dr Atkins out of this - I went from 6'4" and 250 to 6'4" and 200 even in about 3 months thanks to that guy (then he died a week later, god rest his soul).

Cigarskunk, please explain to me how the diet could possibly affect your height?


Well, as you can see...oh, wait a second, you must be one of those people that Mike was saying is dumber then the dumbest German/Brit/Canadian, aren't you?

Posted by: Craig on Nov 19, 03 | 8:41 am
Now, Barry is frantically looking for that fat woman with the sweet cakes.

Posted by: Rushdawg2112 on Nov 19, 03 | 11:48 am
This is kind of old news, but I think it's funny.

http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_822456.html?menu=
US rock bands form anti-Bush collective
US rock bands form anti-Bush collective

Rock groups in the US opposed to George Bush's war on terrorism have set up a new artistic collective.

Bands Against Bush promotes the "struggle against a world of perpetual fear and violence bolstered by the Bush administration".

Sonic Youth, the Donnas, the Liars, the Locust and Erase Errata are among the groups to pledge their support.

BAB has set up more than 20 regional chapters in the US and abroad, reports Rolling Stone.

An international day of action is planned for October 11, with concerts throughout the US and in Europe - including New York, Washington DC, Seattle, Los Angeles, Paris and Dublin.

Meanwhile, Rolling Stone reports Green Day, NOFX, Good Charlotte and others will contribute songs to a Rock Against Bush album which will be backed up by a tour next year.

And Audioslave guitarist Tom Morello is planning to hit the road with Billy Bragg and Steve Earle on the Tell Us the Truth Tour this autumn.


Story filed: 10:48 Wednesday 24th September 2003

================================================================================
I think it's funny how all these bands are talentless let alone the fact that they are also uneducated. I heard a rumor that Mikey Moore might be going along for the tour. (In puny, trendy, punky, today's testosterone-lacking wannabe rock voice) Rock on, guys!

Posted by: Craig on Nov 19, 03 | 11:56 am
Yes R-Dog,...
How about that? "Bands-Against-Bush", That's just excellent.
How else would we ever get this important message that is being sent to us by the ignorant 18-25 year olds who are incapable of even finding Iraq on a map?

"In America the young are always ready to give to those who are older than themselves the full benefits of their inexperience."
-Oscar Wilde

Posted by: Fnork on Nov 19, 03 | 1:12 pm
JimK: I'm NOT devoted to Mike, I hate him, okay? Anyway, I'd agree with that "taking a cheap shot at someone for a laugh is how Moore got famous". And the guy defenately got a sense of humour. The one thing I'll never discount is his sense of humor. I'm just saying what I think; these jokes are terribly boring. I guess I've lost my sense of humour if thats my opinion then? Oh well.

Posted by: Fnork on Nov 19, 03 | 1:15 pm
Just because youre taking a cheap shot at someone for a laugh doesn't mean you're funny. Don't worry about that, though. Maybe if you'll practise in front of the mirror, a couple of hours everyday, you'll learn how to do the Mikey jokes, who knows?

Posted by: Michael the Great on Nov 19, 03 | 7:23 pm
Hey!
I'm in the 18-25 year old age group (that is, by election time) and I can find Iraq on a map. Yes, many people my age are ignorant baboons, but not all of us.

Posted by: calloffthedogs on Nov 19, 03 | 7:44 pm
agreed. though, i'm not entirely sure i could find it on a map. geography has never been my best subject.

Posted by: Darkwing Dork on Nov 19, 03 | 7:52 pm
Iraq? It's in that place with all the deserts, right? The Middle East or something?

Posted by: Cigarskunk on Nov 20, 03 | 8:53 am
Anyway, I'd agree with that "taking a cheap shot at someone for a laugh is how Moore got famous". And the guy defenately got a sense of humour. The one thing I'll never discount is his sense of humor. I'm just saying what I think; these jokes are terribly boring. I guess I've lost my sense of humour if thats my opinion then? Oh well.


No, you've just got a bad sense of humor.

Mike starts out his gag by noting that he cares for the little guy - the blue coller worker, the union Joe, the mom trying to take care of her kids.

After having established how compassionate and loving towards these people he is, he then proceeds to harrass, pester, disrupt and generally make their lives miserable while he waits for a senior person in the company to come down and speak to him.

So if you find working stiffs being harrassed to be funny, then no, you won't appreciate any of the humor on this site - that's not the style of any of the Moore debunkers here.

I will share one part of Moore's particular brand of humor that he never bothers showing or telling his fans about though - the fact that Moore is capable of creating such a significant disruption and that the "gate keepers" weren't able to turn him back reflects VERY poorly on these working stiffs which Moore claims to support.

Basically, as a direct result of Moore's actions, people have most probobly been fired, passed up for promotion/raises and/or demoted due to Mike putting these poor workers on TV/in his movies and making them the object of ridicule as he bashes a particular company.

So if you think Mike harrassing these folks is funny, then you should find the fact that they get punished or fired afterwards to be totally hillarious.

Posted by: Craig on Nov 20, 03 | 9:16 am
Just ask the employees at London's Roundhouse Theater about how Moore treats people who he considers to be merely the hired-help.
Some of his actions make Leona Helmsly look like Mother Teresa.

Posted by: barry on Nov 20, 03 | 11:24 am
I AM the lady of the sweet cakes-now GO TIDY YOUR ROOM.

Posted by: TribeHasSpoken on Nov 20, 03 | 12:17 pm

Hey - leave Dr Atkins out of this - I went from 6'4" and 250 to 6'4" and 200 even in about 3 months thanks to that guy (then he died a week later, god rest his soul).

Cigarskunk, please explain to me how the diet could possibly affect your height?

I probably should have explained from the get-go that I was just joking. The way in which your sentence was constructed presented an opportunity for humor based on an alternate interpretation of your sentence. OpinionJournal's "Best of the Web" does this with news stories all the time, and I was trying my own version of it. But it really was my fault. So much of what is said here is so hostile and dripping with anger that it was safe to assume that I was trying to insult you or make a crack to question your intelligence. My fault, and I'm sorry. I don't make unsubstantiated claims and hide behind the claim of humor. This site is dedicated to exposing someone who does.

Posted by: Darkwing Dork on Nov 21, 03 | 6:33 am
I AM the lady of the sweet cakes-now GO TIDY YOUR ROOM.

Barry, I strongly suggest you lay off the blotter before signing on.

Posted by: Craig on Nov 21, 03 | 7:20 am
Cigarsk,
Moore is of the same liberal ilk as Martin Sheen who leaves his swank Malibu seaside mansion dressed as a homeless bum and spends the night sleeping on a sidewalk in LA, in order to demonstrate his "solidarity" with the homeless.
It really doesn't help anybody, but it gets Sheen some cheap media publicity and allows him an excuse to feel holier-than-thou for a period of time.
Moore thinks that his dressing like us commoners makes him in tune to us and annoints him as THE unelected celebrity spokeshole expressing the opinion of the masses.
It sort of reminds me of the pre-Revolution French aristocrats who used to don peasant garb and then go outside of their palaces and pretend to be commoners, just for their own amusement.

Posted by: Cigarskunk on Nov 21, 03 | 1:32 pm
My fault, and I'm sorry. I don't make unsubstantiated claims and hide behind the claim of humor


Ahh, my bad in my response then - I'm still a bit new to the site so I don't recognise the names of all the good guys and bad guys yet.

Posted by: devil on Dec 01, 03 | 2:03 am
Hey guys, its ok to have jokes around; after all this entire site is a joke. Made by people with their pride hurt to talk about Michael's weight and feel better cause of it. That wont change the facts anyway.

I saw a comment on the main page of this site.. a man talking about an old woman victim of an intruder and her husband killing or almost killing the guy. Then the poster says that he's glad they had a gun.. JEEZ if you think that killing someone to avoid being robed (cause almost all the time its about money)is the solution to protect yourself, then i dont know when a human life started to be worthless compare with money or material stuff. I dont think you should let someone robyou but killing him for that its just too much and its the beggining of human decadence.

Someone said:
"So if you think Mike harrassing these folks is funny, then you should find the fact that they get punished or fired afterwards to be totally hillarious. "

Oh my.. and what is the government been doing all this time if not messing with those people? I think Michael's mainly proposal is to start questioning everything. Ultimately that leads to knowledge.. making jokes doesnt (thoug is funny), but then again thats what this site was made for.. to be a joke.. nothing serious.

Posted by: Craig on Dec 05, 03 | 9:14 am
(____________)(_____________)
PFFFFFFFFHTTT!

Michael Moore sends his respects to this site.



Add your comments

Click to format text (requires Javascript): Bold | Italic | Link


Characters remaining: Notify you when someone replies to this post?